Post by soultime1 on Jul 7, 2006 12:53:06 GMT
Theo Walcott's Diary
What I did on my summer holiday
By Master Theo Walcott aged 17 1/3
I went to a place called Germany with my Uncle Sven
and some other grown up's.
It is a country in Europe where a bad man called Adolf
used to live with his nazties, he does not live there
anymore, Uncle Owen does live there, and the grown
up's say I cant talk about the bad man as it will make
Uncle Owen cry if I do.
In Germany there are lots of castles and some
mountains.
We are staying in a place called Baden Baden that's a
silly name, Uncle Frank has the same name as his dad,
that's silly too, his mum must get their underpants
mixed up all the time.
On the aeroplane Uncle Sol sat next to me, he got me
some toffee and wants to be my friend, he works at the
place where I do my YTS, so does Uncle Freddy but him
and Uncle Sol are not best friends anymore.
Uncle Owen met us at the airport, he talks foreign,
Uncle Wayne, Uncle Steven and Uncle David also talk
funny, my mum says Uncle David talks like Orville, and he
is a duck, Uncle Sol say's uncle David wears dresses
and knickers, and asked me if I had ever worn them.
Uncle Sol got me some pop.
In Germany the grown ups are going to play football,
my grandad says we beat them in the olden days before
my mum was born. That is a long time ago.
While the grown up's went to play football so I went
shopping with
Auntie Vicky and some other girls she bought me a big
ice cream and got herself a little one but she said
she was full before she had eaten any and threw it
away. She bought lots of shoes and handbags and let me
play with Brooklyn. She say's she used to be in a pop
band and sang me one of her songs, I think she was
telling fibs.
I told Uncle Sol about my day out with Vicky and he
sulked, then he bought me an even bigger ice cream
with lots of hundred's & thousands on it.
All the other grown up's have a girlfriend except
Uncle Sol so he plays with me while they go out. Uncle
Sven says I must keep Uncle Sol happy, that's why I
got taken on holiday.
The grown up's went to play Football against somebody
called Sweden,
Uncle Sol was crying as Uncle Freddy played for them
and would not talk to him.
Uncle Sol bought me lots of toffee today and some
crisps. Uncle Sven is
from Sweden and I heard him on the phone to their boss
last night. Uncle Michael hurt his knee and had to go
home to his mum for a plaster. Uncle Peter is a giant,
a proper giant like you see in books, he's rubbish at
football though.
Uncle Wayne had a sore toe at the start of our holiday
but it got better so they let him play football. Uncle
Sol got me a present but I do not like it.
He says all Germans wear leather underpants and I
should while we are here, they are too tight for me.
All the grown up's started to call Uncle Wayne a
potato head who stood on somebodys spuds. He got
shouted at by the referee.
They are all saying that we have to go home now.
Uncle Sol was crying again and I had to sit on his
knee to make him stop. He had his mobile phone in his
pocket, I think.
;D
pmsl