Post by steve womack on Nov 23, 2006 21:33:57 GMT
According to a new survey apparently 85% of males and females masturbate in the shower whilst the other 15% sing.
Do you know what they sing?
Thought not. ;D
Whats the difference between sexy and kinky?
Sexy is using a feather- kinky is when its still attached to the chicken
Why is 'rimming' like a snake-bite?
they both leave you shit-faced
why do sadist take so long to get to the point?
Because they're always beating around the bush ;D
What's the difference between a pick-pocket and a voyeur?
A pick-pocket snatches your watch and a voyeur watches your snatch
Why did the pervert fancy the chicken?
He thought it was poultry in motion ;D
It is OK to use food during sex play but be safe-
always use a condiment.
Some perverts like to see a woman wrestle
But real men prefer to see her box !!!!
A woman passing a pet shop sees a sign in the window saying 'Clitoris licking frog' so intrigued she enters the shop and says 'I've come about the clitoris licking frog and the owner replies 'Oui Madame? ;D
What does the transvestite do at Christmas?
Eat, Drink and be Mary.
How many perverts does it take to put up a light bulb?
Only one but you have to go to the Accident and Emergency to have it removed
A woman goes into a sex shopand asks to see the 'Dildos'.
the assistant shows her a black one, but she says it's too small, so he shows her a pink one, but that's still too small. Then he shows her a chrome one, but she says none of them will do.She points at the big red one on the middle shelfand says she'll have that one. A few minutes later the manager walks in 'how's it going' he asks. 'great' says the assistant just sold one black dildo, two pink ones, three chrome ones and also got rid of that old fire extinguisher'
What do you call a women without an arse-hole?
Divorced
What's the difference between a man and jellybeans?
jellybeans come in different colours
Why do bald men have holes in their pockets?
So they can run their fingers through their hair
What is warm and soft when a man comes in drunk at night but hard and stiff when he wakes up in the morning?
the pile of puke at the bottom of the stairs
Do you know what they sing?
Thought not. ;D
Whats the difference between sexy and kinky?
Sexy is using a feather- kinky is when its still attached to the chicken
Why is 'rimming' like a snake-bite?
they both leave you shit-faced
why do sadist take so long to get to the point?
Because they're always beating around the bush ;D
What's the difference between a pick-pocket and a voyeur?
A pick-pocket snatches your watch and a voyeur watches your snatch
Why did the pervert fancy the chicken?
He thought it was poultry in motion ;D
It is OK to use food during sex play but be safe-
always use a condiment.
Some perverts like to see a woman wrestle
But real men prefer to see her box !!!!
A woman passing a pet shop sees a sign in the window saying 'Clitoris licking frog' so intrigued she enters the shop and says 'I've come about the clitoris licking frog and the owner replies 'Oui Madame? ;D
What does the transvestite do at Christmas?
Eat, Drink and be Mary.
How many perverts does it take to put up a light bulb?
Only one but you have to go to the Accident and Emergency to have it removed
A woman goes into a sex shopand asks to see the 'Dildos'.
the assistant shows her a black one, but she says it's too small, so he shows her a pink one, but that's still too small. Then he shows her a chrome one, but she says none of them will do.She points at the big red one on the middle shelfand says she'll have that one. A few minutes later the manager walks in 'how's it going' he asks. 'great' says the assistant just sold one black dildo, two pink ones, three chrome ones and also got rid of that old fire extinguisher'
What do you call a women without an arse-hole?
Divorced
What's the difference between a man and jellybeans?
jellybeans come in different colours
Why do bald men have holes in their pockets?
So they can run their fingers through their hair
What is warm and soft when a man comes in drunk at night but hard and stiff when he wakes up in the morning?
the pile of puke at the bottom of the stairs
