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Post by topcatnumpty on Jul 11, 2007 18:07:36 GMT
David was asked to be a guest speaker at a top football luncheon ,he wa stold he would be notified of his topic in the post.On the night of the do,David approached the microphone--cleared his throat and said--"I,m delighted to say my chosen subject is something very important to me,and they make my breath smell nice,and my wife Victoria likes them as they contain hardly any calories--at this point a top Fifa official shouts --"Not TIC-TACS --but TACTICS!!!!!!
Love and stuff to all
topcatnumpty(a.k.a. Tony C.)
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Sept 22, 2007 11:57:51 GMT
Here was a St Peter joke that did the rounds after his penalty in Euro 2004
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Ronaldo, Luis Figo and David Beckham are greeted by St Peter at the Pearly Gates of Heaven. He says; "And so here you face your Lord and maker. I shall ask each of you a question."
Addressing Ronaldo first he asks, "Ronaldo, one of the world's greatest football players, what is it that you believe brought you here before me?" Ronaldo looks St Peter in the eye and says passionately, "I believe football to be the food of life. Nothing else brings such unbridled joy to so many people, from the slums of Rio to the bright lights of Madrid. I have devoted my life to bring such joy to people, with little else, who stood on the terraces supporting their team." St Peter smiles and directs Ronaldo through the Pearly Gates to a seat to the left of the Throne of God.
He then turns to Luis Figo, "And similarly you, Luis, a hero to so many, what do you think it was brought you here?" Figo stands tall and proud, "I believe courage, honour and passion are the fundamentals to life and I've spent my whole playing career providing a living embodiment of these commitments." St Peter, moved by the passion of his speech offers Figo a seat to the right of the Throne of God.
He then turns to Beckham, "And you, David, erm… were you just looking for your ball?"
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